Considering Parenting

Finding out you are pregnant unexpectedly can be really hard.  Our counselors are here to walk you through things one step at a time. A Caris counselor won’t persuade you to make a certain decision about your pregnancy; she will pay attention to your thoughts and emotions regarding each option and reflect back to you what she hears.  Sometimes, it can be helpful to hear yourself without all of the extra noise of other people’s opinions or high-stress circumstances. Your counselor can help you focus and identify themes that continue to come up in while you sort through this tough decision.

There are three options for any pregnancy: parenting, adoption and abortion. Our counselors are trained to listen and help you think through these options as you are making your decision. If you are considering parenting, keep reading to see how a Caris counselor can help you process as you decide and give you some tools to start thinking about what you want to do.

If you have questions, or just need to talk to someone, we are here. Reach out to us today.

Deciding to Parent


There are a lot of things to think through when considering your options.  It’s completely normal to feel a wide range of emotions during this time.   Whether you are feeling scared, sad, excited, or somewhere in between, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Take a deep breath, allow space during this time, and let yourself feel what you need to.


Telling People You’re Pregnant

It can feel pretty scary to tell people you are pregnant, especially parents, partners, or others in your life.  It helps to think about how you want to approach the conversation.  Who will be with you?  Some women tell us they don’t want to disappoint or burden others with the news that they are pregnant.  However, sometimes reactions can be more positive than expected.  Usually women tell us that it relieves some of the pressure they feel to share and confide in someone.

Developing a Plan

Caris counselors are here to listen as you make a decision and help you come up with a plan.  Your counselor can guide you through some of the details and put your thoughts into action.

When coming up with a plan, some of the key things you can think about are:

  • Prenatal care: Where might I go to get medical care for this pregnancy?
  • Insurance: How can I cover the costs of prenatal care and delivery?
  • Living situation: Can I stay where I’m living during this pregnancy or do I need to move some place new?
  • School/Employment: How can I continue my schooling or job while I’m pregnant and after I have my baby?
  • Childcare: Who is going to be involved in caring for my child?  Boyfriend, parents, caretaker, etc.

If you aren’t sure what to do about any of these things, or any other details you are concerned about, don’t worry.  That’s what our counselors are here for.  They have years of experience in helping you find the resources you need through a network of community agencies.

Considering Your Support System

Think about your support system.  Who are the people you can count on right now?  Who can help you practically? Who are the people that you can talk to and feel safe sharing with?  These may be some of the people that can encourage and remind you during this time that you are loved and cared for no matter what…even when you feel like this is too hard.

Are there circles in your life that can be a part of your support system?  Do you have a faith community that could be a source of support during this time?

At Caris, we would love to help you figure out who these support people can be for you and would love to introduce you to some women who could offer you the support you need at our Caris Connection Groups.

Taking Your Time

Keep in mind that you don’t have to have everything figured out today.  Maybe your first step is just coming to terms with your feelings about this pregnancy.  Maybe it’s telling your significant other or the father of your child.  Whatever it might be today, it’s important to us at Caris that you don’t feel alone in this process.  We are here to support you and help come up with a plan that you can feel confident about.  We have a wide range of referrals that we can provide and have master’s level counselors that can walk you through this time in your life – give us a call and let us know how we can support you.

Support through Parenting

Caris isn’t just here for you while you’re making your decision. We want to see you thrive after your pregnancy as well. If you are parenting after an unexpected pregnancy, our counselors are here for you. We offer referrals for many of the needs that new parents may have after an unplanned pregnancy.

We also have Caris Connection Groups throughout Chicagoland where you can connect with other women going through some of the same things you might be facing. These groups are an empowering place to connect with other women who support and encourage each other through this time in their lives.

Whatever you need after your pregnancy, Caris is here for you.