How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?

Telling your parents or the family that you live with you are pregnant can be a scary thing. It is common to worry about how a parent will respond and to have ideas of what they will say or do. Sometimes those ideas come true and sometimes parents respond differently than you anticipated. While you won’t know for sure their response until you actually speak with them, there are ways to prepare.

  1. It is important to tell your parents you’re pregnant, and the earlier into the pregnancy the better, as it gives everyone more time to adjust to the news. Note: if you are concerned about your safety should your family find out that you are pregnant, talk to a counselor or a trusted adult for help prior to telling your family.
  2. If you have a difficult time sharing things with your parents, find someone else that you can confide in first such as a friend, close relative, or counselor. This gives you experience talking to someone about being pregnant, and they can help support you as you tell your parents.
  3. Think through how your parents might respond and how that will make you feel. Prepare yourself to respond calmly, without engaging in arguments or becoming defensive.
  4. Aim to do it in person when they will have time to have a conversation with you. Springing it on them when they are on their way to work, talking with someone else, or when in the midst of an argument is not a good idea.
  5. Choose a method for telling them. You can write a letter, prepare a notecard for you to read off of, or simply tell them.
  6. Keep it simple. “I want to tell you something. This is hard for me, but I am pregnant.” “Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.” “I’m pregnant and I need your support right now.”
  7. Once you have said it, give your parents time to respond. While it is hard when parents are angry or disappointed over the news, give them space to express their feelings and try not to take it personally. Even parents respond poorly at times.
  8. Be honest with your parents and tell them how you feel. Share your worries, fears, hopes, etc. It’s ok if you don’t say this exactly how you had planned. It will help your parents to hear your true feelings.
  9. While you might already have an idea of what you want to do, give everyone time, including yourself, to calm down and think things through clearly before making a final decision.
  10. Your parents will have an opinion about what you are to do but remember that it is your decision. If you are feeling pressured, or want help figuring out what to do, talk to a counselor or someone outside your family who can help.
  11. Finally, this is a big decision to make so take time to think carefully about what is right for you and how your decision will impact you.